Surrender
by crystalix
Summary: The only escape a Slayer will ever know. A POV piece of one of Buffy's predecessors.


Title: Surrender

Author: crystalix

Rating: T (or 14A- ish) :warning, angst and character death:

Summary: The only escape a Slayer will ever know.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and co.

Distribution: Please ask first!

A/N: Not based on an actual character or timeline, the story of a slayer's final day and a glimpse into their life. Just a little ficlet I wrote, told from 1st person POV (Slayer's POV)

A/N2: For all my"The Colony of Lost Souls" Readers! NO I haven't given up on it! I have MAJOR writer's block, I know what to write, I just don't know HOW to write (or word) it exactly. I'm doing the best I can and I'm HOPING to get it up soon, these ficlets are really my attempts to "clear the blockage", please bear with me!

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I lie here. Staring up at the ceiling, engulfed in my own thoughts.

My watcher just left for a retreat, he warned me to stay alert, and told me to take time off until his return. He didn't say that because he wants me to have a break, he said it because he knows I won't.

My earliest memory is that of a vampire, raging around in his cell like an animal. His eyes turned to me and I was chilled to the bone, they were full of more hatred than I could have imagined at such a small age. It was at that moment that somehow, I knew my destiny. And to this day, it is those cold eyes I seek when I plunge a stake into the heart of a vampire. The last thing I search for before they crumble to dust. Each night I go out in search of those eyes, praying as I defeat each demon that I will finally be ridded of the memory, and the obsession that now surrounds it. And each time, my prayers go unanswered.

It has been a mere year since I was first called; however I have known of my fate for years now. I was raised by the council, taught how to fight, how to think… how to kill. The thought sends shivers down my spine, I don't think of it as I go out each night, but a part of me knows the truth, that my death is inevitable. And perhaps what frightens me more is that in a way, I welcome it.

In each generation, a slayer is born. Another can only be called when their predecessor dies. I often think of mine, the girl who was chosen for this fate before I. No one has ever told me about her, but I cannot help the curiosity I feel. Who was she? What was her name? How did she die? Did she feel the same as I do? It is one of the things that I have always regretted, that I will never get a chance to meet her; the one who passed me the torch. It's strange, I have no idea who she is, yet she encompasses so many of my thoughts. I wonder if she welcomed her death, if she too could feel the darkness that lies so close to the surface. The shadows of evil that whisper to me constantly, urging me to give in. I have been tempted to do just that, to find out what would happen if I surrendered to it, to embrace the unknown demons that lie inside. Instead, I keep fighting, as it is what I was born to do.

The sun is now down, I wander the quiet cemetery with a stake in hand, every sense alert to the area around me. The night has always put me on edge, as though it awakens a dormant part of me that seeks the hunt and nothing else. It is what drives me here, each and every night. No one knows of these feeling that I experience, I have never told another soul, in fear of what they might say. It is something only one person in the world could understand, and she died- the moment before I was called. Again, I find myself wishing that things were different, that the slayers were not written this way.

I didn't even realise that I had stopped walking, that my stake had dropped from my hand, or the tears that ran down my face. I silently beg whoever's listening to end this, that somehow, sometime, things would change, so that others would not be forced to live in fear of themselves as I do. So that no girl, by a twist of fate, will have to live this loneliness and despair that hangs within my soul.

Suddenly, a large figure strikes me from out of nowhere, sending me to the ground. My heart races as I scramble to get up, only to be thrown against a nearby crypt. Fear rushes through me as I realise that my stake is gone, I try to move towards it, but a fist collides with my jaw. I can barely make out the ridges on his forehead and his sharp, pointed teeth as he beats me relentlessly. Before I can try and renew my struggle his fangs violently pierce my neck- my body suddenly freezes. I can feel my enemy draining the life from me, as I grow weaker and weaker, I can feel the darkness that usually remains dormant creeping up on me, more so than it ever has before. As he drains what little blood I have left, the vampire pulls back and stares at me, his eyes glaring into my own. The memory of my childhood strikes me fast and hard; they are the same eyes that have haunted me for so long. Cold hatred lies plainly within them, only now they are accompanied by something more- a look of satisfaction.

He throws my dying body to the ground and walks away, his cold laugh echoing through the night air. I gaze up at the night sky in disbelief as I feel the end approaching. This is it, my great defeat? Thoughts race through my mind, what will happen to me now? Who will be the next one called? Will anyone ever know what happened to me? My mind spins as a last effort to hold on. Pain overwhelms me as I feel my once steady pulse slow to almost silence. A single tear escapes me as I feel the last bit of life drain out of me. I close my eyes and turn to the darkness that has frightened me for so long. And in my last act as the slayer, I no longer fight; but welcome it. I let the darkness engulf me as I pass on the torch, finally embracing the only escape I will ever know.

The End

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**Thanks for reading! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

crystalix


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